Who let the cows out?

Moo. Moo. MooMoo. LOL

Once a British guy said ,"Unleash the cows on the revolting South Indians." Bangalore was screwed with cow poop thereafter. (Its fun blaming the British. I'm tired of blaming Indian politicians. Give them a break.)
So many cows in B'lore. If there is a documentary filmed on the cows in Bangalore, it can very well be released called Rise Of The Planet Of The Cows and become a box office hit. THAT many cows on the streets. If you're invited to visit a dairy farm, laugh on whoever invited you, and book a ticket to B'lore.
Sometimes, I wish I was a cow. They seem to have a charmed life. They eat what they want, walk where ever they want, excrete where ever they want. No one can do anything to them. They have the force with them. They can cause a traffic jam by just standing on the road. Russel Peters said, " The only time traffic in India comes to a stop is when there is a cow on the road." Touch them with your car and PETA will go ape on you. Beautiful. What beasts. I wish I was a cow.

Didn't post for a while now. No, I wasn't busy. Internet ille.

I leave for the desert late at night today. I'll miss this cow & dog infested place. I'll miss my family and "friends". I'll miss the dosa. My last post from India this year. I leave for the US soon after I land in the desert.

I post this from SAT class. Jobless I am. Oooh, 500+ hits in a week. Thank you all.

I can't wait to download Mylo Xyloto illegally.

"Every tear drop is a waterfall" 

That is all from Bangalore. Peace. Dosa.

Alternating Reality - First Steps.

Hello. Thank you for making it this far. You must’ve had a hard time ignoring the repeated reminders, that my minions have been issuing,  to check this blog. I know it has been difficult for you. I know you have been spammed. I take full responsibility for it. I’m so #badass (ooh a hashtag)

Alternating Reality, the place where you might, if you’re lucky, get to see what really goes on in my brain ( whatever that is  left of it), otherwise you shall be enlightened with the happenings in an ordinarily unique child’s life struggling for survival in this harsh, unforgiving world. LOL, no, I don’t live in the grasslands of Ethopia. Or any other forest, that is. I find it cool to exaggerate the condition of this world. ENOUGH ABOUT THE WORLD! I won’t tell you about what’s REALLY happening in the differentiated mass of tissue protected by my cranium, I’m afraid to do so. I’m scared of letting anyone in that dark corner of my brain. I’m afraid you might… Umm … Die. I don’t want to lose a reader. See, I’m a good guy. #win.

Let me be frank with you, I was inspired to blog. Yes, I do get inspired,(by few). I was inspired by BurstingRandomosity, whose author/founder/whatever is a good friend of mine. I am so humble. #winagain

When Alternating Reality isn’t talking about my love life, my obsession with good, silky hair, Taylor Swift songs, etc, varied and controversial topics such as why the chicken actually crossed the road, who left the dogs out, where is Voldemort’s nose, Pottermore, India’s cricketing woes, India’s increased population, Biology.NOT. why doesn’t Snape use shampoo, will Sachin ever retire, will Navjot Singh Siddhu ever stop fake laughing, will this list ever end, etc., shall be discussed. But these discussions will take a long time to be published due to the lengthy and painstaking research required and because the obsessions mentioned above (pay attention, you fool! :@, sorry) are of greater importance.

There will be a lot of swearing on this blog. No, don’t tell my mom about it, you snitch! It’s only fair that the troubled author(s) get full freedom to let their inner rage out, after all it is a harsh, unforgiving world as mentioned above. (You didn’t know that, did you? B******d, stars for now. First post). But worry not, swearing will be limited, Delhi Belly will still have more swear words than this blog, we don’t want the blog to be blocked in the UAE, do we? Oh, btw, I stay in Dubai. Yes, the one with the boat shaped hotel and the tallest empty tower and the palm shaped island that looks good only when you’re flying over it.

Alternating Reality will have guest authors on it. These authors have no work in life. That is why they’ll spend their time to entertain your face muscles. Wait, WHAT?!

I’m spoiling my eyes by sitting in front of a screen with letters. I need to eat a carrot. LOL. Jk.

I do hope I see you on the next post.

Au revoir. French, bitch.

Btw, follow me on twitter @IAmAkshith.

The Facebook page will be up soon.