On the way back home.

The past few days are just fragments in my memory. I have lost sense of time. Haven't lost sanity, though. Not yet.

Penelope Cruz... Jack Sparrow... Sleep.. Cars... Hot chicks... Food... Sleep...

That ^, is what my memory is like.

I remember Penelope Cruz because of Pirates of the Caribbean . She looked so good with her Spanish accent. I'll have to go to Spain someday. I need to learn Spanish, very useful and it sounds funny, so does Italian.

I learnt, in the plane, that Fast Five is a good movie. I should have watched it earlier, but I didn't because the previous Fast & Furious gave me the creeps. PoC wasn't bad either. I missed Orlando and Keira, though.

Chicago's airport should be renamed from O'Hare to India's Airport In America. Indians have taken over Chicago. SO MANY INDIANS! The Patel dynasty, apparently, runs most of the Dunkin Donuts in Chicago. They'll be so proud of Parthiv. Beautiful knock of 95. Pity he couldn't reach triple figures. 

McD of Chinatown.

HSBC in Chinatown

Chinese have taken over a part of Manhattan. The part is called Chinatown. DUHH! All the shop names are in Chinese. The menu of the McDonalds there is in Chinese. 

Now that I'm back home, I need to get life into the study lane. I need to shed a few kilos, grow facial hair , search for my books, complete assignments, make a list of bozos who'll have my assignments and take cash from them, play some cricket, watch some cricket.

Wanna be my chammak chalo? *happy face*

Hit and Run. Then Wake Up.

Baseball is a funny sport. Baseballers can bat for only 3 balls and people pay to watch it. Critics of cricket complain about a test match's 2 innings but apparently enjoy baseball's 9. Chucking is allowed. Shoaib Akhtar will be a great baseballer. I actually had to check Google for his spelling. Dayum, how forgotten is he? *shocked emoticon*

Why are baseball batsmen criminals?
Because all they do is hit and run.
Jokes.

I'm not supposed to be here. I'm supposed to be in front of a book, as usual. But I'm not, as usual.

I have this beautiful tune swimming through my head these days. Earlier it was the Star Wars theme song. Dexter's theme song plays in my head from the moment I wake up. I even look for a mosquito to smack when I open my eyes. It has captivated me. I hold a knife and the song plays in my head, I draw the shower curtain and the song plays in my head. I feel like Dexter Morgan completing his ritual when I'm surrounded by the plastic shower curtain. The theme song puts a spring in my step, just like Coldplay's Every Tear Drop Is A Waterfall.
"I wake up in the morning feeling like Dexter Morgan, look around for a mosquito and in the night I need to kill."
That ^ was supposed to play in your head like Ke$ha's Tik Tok (with minor adjustments where ever required)

I think I'm doped. But then again, I think many things.

"Open your eyes and look at what you did!!!"

Hurricane Irene.

Hurricane Ir-F**king-ene.
What a bitch she turned out to be. I slept right through out the actual hurricane. But the aftermath sucked balls. The bloody basement of the house where I was staying flooded, up to 18 inches water. I wore swimming trunks the whole day. LOL, JK.

Irene, the bitch, knocked out electric power in the area where I was staying. Stupid stupid thing to do. Because of that I didn't have wifi. Which is why I believe I am a true survivor. I survived the hurricane, easy shit. I stayed for almost 2 whole days without connection to the internet. I felt like a caveman. It is hard, but I was strong.
I also might have reduced 20-30 kgs (read: 0 kg). I worked for more time than what an indolent person should should work for. I should be awarded the Bharat Ratna. No kidding.

Irene can be blamed for everything wrong that I do. I can;t think of anything more to add. (Blame Irene)

I once told a girl, "Don't worry, I won't rape you". Her parents hate me after that. Irene hadn't struck yet, but I blame it on Irene.
I've said many things, have you? If you have, I don't think it matters to me.

"Tera kya hoga, Kaliya?"

Lights. Camera. Hurricane.

Ever looked death in the face and smiled? Ever looked up to the heavans waiting for death and smiled? Ever looked at the TV set watching a news reporter talking about Hurricane Irene and smiled? I did only the last thing. The other two might happen during the course of Hurricane Irene.

I'm psyched about the hurricane. It feels like I'm waiting in line for Jumeirah Scaireh. So PSYCHED! Its my first hurricane. I can't wait for it to bang USA.

Food during natural calamities shouldn't be a problem for me. Fridges here store more food than refugee camps in Africa. Pantries here are like mini grocery stores. If cereal runs out, there are 5 more boxes of the same in the basement.

Lights, Camera, Action.
Its a dark, rainy, gloomy, windy outside Akshith's home. Akshith, standing next to one of the window,  looks outside, sees branches strewn on the front yard, babies fluting, diapers hitting faces, and says, in a low, mysterious, emo voice, "There is a hurricane coming, I can feel it" *Thunder* *Lightning*.
Black out.

^ That is what I expect to do.

Think about this - 

"Sometimes, nonsense makes more sense than common sense", Akshith Dass.

 It has started to rain outside...

Natural Calamity Thoughts.

Recently (yesterday) I started thinking. You're screwed, I know. The post Food.Rain.Girl has the maximum hits. I think I know why. Because of that girl mentioned in the title. Ha! Gotcha. You are such a dawg. I have a good social life. A girl I see and like shouldn't be a surprise.

FTK is stuck in some remote part of India with no Internet. That isn't a surprise, is it?

Yesterday, after I was done thinking, I did unconventional things. Unconventional for a person in America. Not neccessarily unconventional for an Indian in Amercia. I had Pani Puri at home and I watched a hindi movie at home. I watched Tere Bin Laden. I know the movie is old, but so is your mom. Its a beautiful movie. And its even funnier when you're watching a guy trying to get into US while you're sitting in US and watching him. Its an epically funny movie. You should watch it.

The post doesn't agree with the title.

I'm missing lots of shizz happening in Dubai, while my butt is 11037 kilometers or 6859 miles or 5960 nautical miles away. Bleh, who cares?

Remember the earthquake I mentioned earlier? Now, there is a hurricane coming up on Sunday. Its called Irene. It'll probably going to bang the crap out of NY. My flight is from JFK (in NY, foo). I'm probably going to die. I'm excited though. My first hurricane. It might probably be like my first kiss. I will be blown away, not by the orgasmic experience, but by the wind force, duhh.

Some of my bros have been sorted on Pottermore. I'm still waiting for the email. I hope they get killed by a troll.

Lashker - E- America - Invading America since 2002.

A better place to be in.

USA is a beautiful place to be. It is really beautiful. New Jersey is beautifully green and flowery. Manhattan is beautifully the best place on this planet popularly called Earth. America is beautifully filled with beautiful women.The Anti-Corruption drama and India's murder in England have made me despise India and love America even more. The US Open is a beautiful place. Other than the beautiful earthquake that shook my ass, it was unordinarily, but still beautifully uneventful.
Manhattan is still beautiful. Its better than India. What.. noooo... *shot and killed*
Times Square gave me a beautiful orgasmic type feeling by just standing there among other beautiful people. Central Park is a beautiful place. It has turtles.

Getting into college here is hard. Beautifully hard! Colleges are made to suck your beautiful blood.

But America has an extremely unbeautiful aspect - The Tissue Paper System.

"I'm gonna run right to, to the edge with you
Where we can both fall over in love."

Because I'm cool.

I like using the word cool now for everything. I'm cool. Boss is boring now. Cool is cool. Like really cool. The weather here is cool too. So is the new Vote for me at BlogAdda.com thingy next to this post.
Click on the 5th star. You'll become cool. I could vote for myself, but then I won't be THAT cool.

Have you ever felt that the post title doesn't actually relate to the post content? You have? Really? You're cool, like me.Isn't that what AR is about? The reality is that the post isn't what the title says it is.
Okay, what-ev-aaah.

It did rain yesterday, 6 hours late and 10 miles away from where I'm staying. Americans call rainfall as storms, I get scared. There must be a lot of Indians working in the US Met-Dept. Indians living in America are cool too. They are brown with an American accent. Indians with an English accent are cool-er. Indians getting white washed in England are the coolest. They pretty stupid also. I didn't watch the last test match. God saved me.

I'm going to buy clothes today, hopefully. "In the world of emoticons, I would be colon, capital d right now", Sheldon Cooper, PhD.

"One could not count the moons that shimmer on her roofs,
Or the thousand splendid suns that hide behind her walls."

A new day, a different place.

In the last one week, I have been through six different cities/towns, visited 4 different airports, been on a flight twice. I'm the Man of Steel, I'm Superman. I could easily apply for a World Record. I won't though.

Wasn't supposed to post today as per plans. But when do plans actually work out? I was supposed to white water rafting, show off my "abs" to the whites. But apparently it is supposed to rain today. I don't think it will. US Open qualifiers, I might go on Tuesday, or else/and Manhattan I hope. I <3 Manhattan. Name your daughter Manhattan, and I will marry her. LOL, JK.

Etihad placed Batman:The Beginning in the classic movies' list. My respect for the Abu Dhabi dudes shot up faster than India's inflation.

Hope. Thats the word. You never know whats going to happen, but you hope. If it happens, you feel like a boss, if it doesn't, you feel, "well I only hoped for it".

900+ hits already. Wow. Simply, wowilicious.

Once upon a time...

Alternating Reality isn't my first blog. "Wait. WHAT?! You were cool before as well?" Yes.

I once had a blog called My Great American Holiday or something like that. It turned out to be pretty stupid.

This was my first post on blogger, 2 years ago. I got nostalgic suddenly. -

America-The Land of Dreams...

Before you engage yorself into reading about my trip..Please be aware that this is kinda long and I will be distracted while typing this and go off-topic..So Please Be Patient...
The trip is divided into 3 parts according to the 3 weeks I stayed there.

So sit back and enjoy the read...

Hope you like it.. :D

Hello dear readers...

Our journey to the American land on the 1st of Aug..Embarking on a 14 hour flight which took off at 'round 12:45 am (DST) to Dulles International Airport ,Washington D.C..The flight was smooth ,watched some useless movies,. to kill my time..First watched Monsters v/s aliens-Time pass Then a few seconds of Watchmen was enough to put me to sleep..*even though my brother and I had RESOLVED not to *.Which eventually caused me to miss my meal..*Which also was RESOLVED to be eaten..(not that I was hungry or anything but if some lady offers a meal MILES above the ground I don't feel like rejecting... ;) )..So two out of two resolutions for the flight broken..Aaah what the heck, Resolutions are meant to be broken..Seems like I'm going off topic..buh had a couple of Kitkats ..yummy..Well time does fly when you are flying.. :P..

We successfully landed on US soil on Aug 1st,6:30 am (ET) which is 1430 in Dubai..our final destination was actually Newark airport in New Jersey and thus we had to change flights.But before that could take place ,since we had Immigrant visas,we had some immigration process to complete,which unfortunately took a LONG time ( due to An AMERICAN :@ ) we managed to miss the flight,scheduled at 8:15 and had to wait till 4:30 for the next one..On which we got on , no thanks to the stupid airport officials..

Waiting 6 hours for an hour's flight - STUPID..We couold have drived to New Jersey in the same time..Buh What the Heck...

Reached New Jersey at 5 : 30 pm and were recieved by my maternal uncle,Mr.Paresh Damania...

Wow what a beginning to the vacations...We finally reached their home at 'round 7 pm..Ending the 27 hour journey.. omg..

The next day, Aug 2nd..Turned out to be my l'il brother's ( Karanesh) 12th birthday..Which was celebrated at an Indian Restaurant,as my auntie's( Mrs Sangita Damania) surprise b'day..So it was an 2 in 1 package.. Yay..

The best part about August is that Maist of my family members are born in it..So which is a blessing for me .. Cause More birthdays = More Parties = More Cake.. =D...

The next few days were of less excitement..

The nest big thing in the 1st week was the trip to the Empire State,New York...These Ameicans have the concept of giving each state a title..like-New Jersey is the Garden State,New York is the Empire..And so on..

So the 1st thing on our NY agenda was the United Nations,where we reached at arouund 11:30 am..Unfortunately,we could not take the tour of the UN General Assembly and Security Council because the tour was at 2 pm..The best part about NY is that we can walk around the city and reach all the major attractions with the help of your legs and a map..Moving on or rather Walking on..From the UN we went to the Majestic,Superior Empire State Building..Risng to a height of 443.2 meters,its the tallest bldg in New York..and an iconic symbol of the city and the US. A must see..From the 86th floor ( its observation deck) of this tower I could see awesome 360 degrees view of Manhattan and the surrounding areas...
Next stop-A meal in Burger King :P...Re-filled, we walked towards one of the most famous squares in the W.O.R.L.D,The phenomenal, ever bustling ,heart of NYC-Times Square..This place is unbelievable..So many people,so many branded stores ,etc.,...anyone would LOVE it..I did.. :P

Also saw Macy's ( which my dad thought was the world's largest toy store..This really got my brother VERY VERY excited..But unfortunate to him..It turned out to be something completley different--Some stupid Cosmetics , and lady thingy store , so that was kinda sad..)

Then unfortunately it was time to leave so went to the Port Authority Bus Terminal for the ride back to NJ....

This wasn't the last time I went to NYC in this trip..( find out more in the ending.. ;) )

The next BIG thing in the 1st week was the trip yo a theme park called Six Flags-Great Adventure. This a a humungous park with SO many roller coasters and is also home to the TALLEST roller coaster - Kingda Ka..Its HUGE!The size can chicken you out instantly.When I went, I guess it chickened everyone out ( including me ) that I didn't see the coaster go on it the whole day...

The first ever roller coaster which I went on was called superman, that was after a 90 minute wait in the Q.But the wait was worth it...There was also the classic, the wooden roller coaste which I went on....That was one hell of a ride...
That about does it for the firt week in the US...
Coming in the next post - The 2nd week in Cincinnatti, Ohio.

Serial killer pharmacist and bag packing.

Finally, after 10 days, I watched an episode of Dexter yesterday. I'm on season 5 now and I know I'm late. But then watching S5 now would keep Dexter alive in my head when S6 arrives. I can't wait. I love the way Dexter kills people. Michael C Hall makes it look like fun, almost like a hobby/part time job. It looks so easy, makes me wanna kill. You wouldn't be alive then. *happy-evil emoticon here*

Packing a bag is such a bitch. It requires massive levels of attention, decision making, extreme expertise in Tetris, good remembering skills, etc.,. Apparently I suck in all those aspects, which is why I forgot my sim card, coffee powder in B'lore and probably broke previous carry on baggage weight record by smuggling in 7 extra kilograms. Which is also why I didn't pack my bag for the USA trip. America deprived me of cricket today.

Fracas is such a beautiful word. Its pronunciation makes my lips feel good. Good lips are important.
Phhrrraacasss. Phhrr.


Me : 1 box of Neocold.
Pharmacist (searching on his computer for Neucold) - Umm, we don't have Neocold. *searches again* Neocold, uhh nothing coming, nothing coming for Neocold.
Me (in my head): I am so blogging about you.