Hit and Run. Then Wake Up.

Baseball is a funny sport. Baseballers can bat for only 3 balls and people pay to watch it. Critics of cricket complain about a test match's 2 innings but apparently enjoy baseball's 9. Chucking is allowed. Shoaib Akhtar will be a great baseballer. I actually had to check Google for his spelling. Dayum, how forgotten is he? *shocked emoticon*

Why are baseball batsmen criminals?
Because all they do is hit and run.
Jokes.

I'm not supposed to be here. I'm supposed to be in front of a book, as usual. But I'm not, as usual.

I have this beautiful tune swimming through my head these days. Earlier it was the Star Wars theme song. Dexter's theme song plays in my head from the moment I wake up. I even look for a mosquito to smack when I open my eyes. It has captivated me. I hold a knife and the song plays in my head, I draw the shower curtain and the song plays in my head. I feel like Dexter Morgan completing his ritual when I'm surrounded by the plastic shower curtain. The theme song puts a spring in my step, just like Coldplay's Every Tear Drop Is A Waterfall.
"I wake up in the morning feeling like Dexter Morgan, look around for a mosquito and in the night I need to kill."
That ^ was supposed to play in your head like Ke$ha's Tik Tok (with minor adjustments where ever required)

I think I'm doped. But then again, I think many things.

"Open your eyes and look at what you did!!!"

Post Irene Depression.

It is official. I am dying. I haven't consulted a doctor. I don't need to. I'm cool like that, bro. This conclusion isn't due to the recent events, I had known it for quite some time. I just didn't want you to start celebrating that early.

Irene didn't harm me at all, but I managed to crack my toe nail by kicking a rolled up carpet. Which was rolled up because of Irene. And I have random red spots on my torso. Not chicken pox, genius. Death is imminent. I think I'm low on testosterone, that does in NO way mean that I'm high on estrogen.

The emo phase has begun. I'll be going into hiding for an 15 minutes or so. I'll say things that'll break hearts, relationships, friendships, flirtships, Titanic ships. Everyone goes through this phase.
We all have a dark passenger. A monster within us. Dexter Morgan is an epic man, so was Anakin Skywalker, but Anakin let his dark passenger consume him. I have a dark passenger too, he is sitting in a corner and being emo right now. He's a stupid guy, can't stay emo for long. I hate him.

"Your father was seduced by the dark side of the force". HA!

Hurricane Irene.

Hurricane Ir-F**king-ene.
What a bitch she turned out to be. I slept right through out the actual hurricane. But the aftermath sucked balls. The bloody basement of the house where I was staying flooded, up to 18 inches water. I wore swimming trunks the whole day. LOL, JK.

Irene, the bitch, knocked out electric power in the area where I was staying. Stupid stupid thing to do. Because of that I didn't have wifi. Which is why I believe I am a true survivor. I survived the hurricane, easy shit. I stayed for almost 2 whole days without connection to the internet. I felt like a caveman. It is hard, but I was strong.
I also might have reduced 20-30 kgs (read: 0 kg). I worked for more time than what an indolent person should should work for. I should be awarded the Bharat Ratna. No kidding.

Irene can be blamed for everything wrong that I do. I can;t think of anything more to add. (Blame Irene)

I once told a girl, "Don't worry, I won't rape you". Her parents hate me after that. Irene hadn't struck yet, but I blame it on Irene.
I've said many things, have you? If you have, I don't think it matters to me.

"Tera kya hoga, Kaliya?"

Lights. Camera. Hurricane.

Ever looked death in the face and smiled? Ever looked up to the heavans waiting for death and smiled? Ever looked at the TV set watching a news reporter talking about Hurricane Irene and smiled? I did only the last thing. The other two might happen during the course of Hurricane Irene.

I'm psyched about the hurricane. It feels like I'm waiting in line for Jumeirah Scaireh. So PSYCHED! Its my first hurricane. I can't wait for it to bang USA.

Food during natural calamities shouldn't be a problem for me. Fridges here store more food than refugee camps in Africa. Pantries here are like mini grocery stores. If cereal runs out, there are 5 more boxes of the same in the basement.

Lights, Camera, Action.
Its a dark, rainy, gloomy, windy outside Akshith's home. Akshith, standing next to one of the window,  looks outside, sees branches strewn on the front yard, babies fluting, diapers hitting faces, and says, in a low, mysterious, emo voice, "There is a hurricane coming, I can feel it" *Thunder* *Lightning*.
Black out.

^ That is what I expect to do.

Think about this - 

"Sometimes, nonsense makes more sense than common sense", Akshith Dass.

 It has started to rain outside...

Natural Calamity Thoughts.

Recently (yesterday) I started thinking. You're screwed, I know. The post Food.Rain.Girl has the maximum hits. I think I know why. Because of that girl mentioned in the title. Ha! Gotcha. You are such a dawg. I have a good social life. A girl I see and like shouldn't be a surprise.

FTK is stuck in some remote part of India with no Internet. That isn't a surprise, is it?

Yesterday, after I was done thinking, I did unconventional things. Unconventional for a person in America. Not neccessarily unconventional for an Indian in Amercia. I had Pani Puri at home and I watched a hindi movie at home. I watched Tere Bin Laden. I know the movie is old, but so is your mom. Its a beautiful movie. And its even funnier when you're watching a guy trying to get into US while you're sitting in US and watching him. Its an epically funny movie. You should watch it.

The post doesn't agree with the title.

I'm missing lots of shizz happening in Dubai, while my butt is 11037 kilometers or 6859 miles or 5960 nautical miles away. Bleh, who cares?

Remember the earthquake I mentioned earlier? Now, there is a hurricane coming up on Sunday. Its called Irene. It'll probably going to bang the crap out of NY. My flight is from JFK (in NY, foo). I'm probably going to die. I'm excited though. My first hurricane. It might probably be like my first kiss. I will be blown away, not by the orgasmic experience, but by the wind force, duhh.

Some of my bros have been sorted on Pottermore. I'm still waiting for the email. I hope they get killed by a troll.

Lashker - E- America - Invading America since 2002.

A better place to be in.

USA is a beautiful place to be. It is really beautiful. New Jersey is beautifully green and flowery. Manhattan is beautifully the best place on this planet popularly called Earth. America is beautifully filled with beautiful women.The Anti-Corruption drama and India's murder in England have made me despise India and love America even more. The US Open is a beautiful place. Other than the beautiful earthquake that shook my ass, it was unordinarily, but still beautifully uneventful.
Manhattan is still beautiful. Its better than India. What.. noooo... *shot and killed*
Times Square gave me a beautiful orgasmic type feeling by just standing there among other beautiful people. Central Park is a beautiful place. It has turtles.

Getting into college here is hard. Beautifully hard! Colleges are made to suck your beautiful blood.

But America has an extremely unbeautiful aspect - The Tissue Paper System.

"I'm gonna run right to, to the edge with you
Where we can both fall over in love."

Complete Waste.

This post is a waste. I'm in no mood to type. Which is why this is a fail, but still cool, post. That is all.