Akshith has a bad day and speaks out, (kinda).

Virender Sehwag’s golden duck should’ve warned me about it. His bad outing at Edgbaston meant that my day wouldn't be a peaceful one. You must be wondering what bullshit. You’re wrong. Ha! I can crap on you because I have a blog. #likeaboss.


Virender Sehwag and I share a common birthday (along with my grade 10 Social Studies and grade 4class teacher) . HOW SEXY IS THAT (excluding what is in the bracket)?! HA! Thus I conclude that I share a connection with Viru. I call him Viru. More on that connection later.


So, I didn't figure out that I’ll be having an emotionally unstable day then. It kinda became obvious later on. In the SAT class, I was in a room with two of the chattiest girls in the UNIVERSE during a bloody surprise test! How the hell can I think about the essay writing part when around me the two females talk to each other about parties and sleepovers.


After that was done, I had to confront Stupid Friend (SF for short). His brain is probably a single cell of differentiated tissue, and the part of the brain that figures out the obvious is absent in his single celled brain. I cannot leak the contents of our conversation, he’ll kill me. It’s funny how people can bully me via the internet. Bastards. In short, after the blood sucking testing, I took up the role of smart kid and good friend and explained almost every minute detail of how he should approach his “friend” *wink.wink* He still didn't figure it out.


India's crap batting added to the gloom. My grandmom's epic statement made things a little better, watching Dhoni bat, she said, "Dahi khai ne aayvo hasey". That's in Gujarati.


Later in bed *ALONE!* I started to think and when that happens shit happens, I get sad. I started wondering about why the hell am I even blogging? Who the hell even wants to read my blog? What’s the use of spamming random people, going through those painful security checks, which are more helpful to catch drunk drivers than stop spamming? Why should I waste my time to force you to read? After few more questions, I don’t remember them now, I check the blog nostalgically and saw the rioter’s post. That changed things.


I received the Pottermore congratulations e-mail. That just owned the sad and crappy me.


I ate a dosa in the morning. That destroyed the still partly sad me.


I typed on a typewriter in the morning. The thuck thuck sounds made me feel like a boss. And I thought screw you, I’m blogging. Blogging makes me a boss. See what I did to SF up there ^, he’s probably crying now.


OMG THE BLOG LOOKS BEAUTIFUL! BLOGASM! Thank you Daedalus. 

Acknowledgements and a new rambler.

Thank you.
I'm very glad that you liked what you read yesterday.
My Facebook wall was filled with more wall posts than what it got on my birthday.
To show how grateful I am, I've changed the blog template, added a poll, and the number of page views. Wow, 100+ already. See, see. :D
Many more boxes to arrive soon. 
Personalizing a blog is hard work. Proposing to your girlfriend is easier. Try it. I dare you.
The page views thingy is added only for my personal satisfaction. It makes me smile. You want to see me smiling, trust me.


Yesterday was a good day. Alternating Reality came life. I got wall posts. I was pleased.
I received "that" much awaited e-mail from a friend. I was very pleased.
Someone actually commented on of the posts. I was pleased.


Okay, enough about me and before this crappy WiFi connection which I'm "stealing" ( Did I mention that I'm in Bangalore? No? Okay) gets disconnected and shows me words that I've started to dread the most - Limited or No Connectivity, Alternating Reality now has a new member. A new author. Yes, clap for him. ENOUGH! His name shall be revealed by him. Suspense hai boss.


I will be back. I've got stuff to do and places to go.

"The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep." , Robert Frost.

ooh, I've always wanted to try italics. Fancy.


Oh, Facebook page up. The social plug in box will be up soon, as soon as I can figure it out. Loong way to go.

Alternating Reality - First Steps.

Hello. Thank you for making it this far. You must’ve had a hard time ignoring the repeated reminders, that my minions have been issuing,  to check this blog. I know it has been difficult for you. I know you have been spammed. I take full responsibility for it. I’m so #badass (ooh a hashtag)

Alternating Reality, the place where you might, if you’re lucky, get to see what really goes on in my brain ( whatever that is  left of it), otherwise you shall be enlightened with the happenings in an ordinarily unique child’s life struggling for survival in this harsh, unforgiving world. LOL, no, I don’t live in the grasslands of Ethopia. Or any other forest, that is. I find it cool to exaggerate the condition of this world. ENOUGH ABOUT THE WORLD! I won’t tell you about what’s REALLY happening in the differentiated mass of tissue protected by my cranium, I’m afraid to do so. I’m scared of letting anyone in that dark corner of my brain. I’m afraid you might… Umm … Die. I don’t want to lose a reader. See, I’m a good guy. #win.

Let me be frank with you, I was inspired to blog. Yes, I do get inspired,(by few). I was inspired by BurstingRandomosity, whose author/founder/whatever is a good friend of mine. I am so humble. #winagain

When Alternating Reality isn’t talking about my love life, my obsession with good, silky hair, Taylor Swift songs, etc, varied and controversial topics such as why the chicken actually crossed the road, who left the dogs out, where is Voldemort’s nose, Pottermore, India’s cricketing woes, India’s increased population, Biology.NOT. why doesn’t Snape use shampoo, will Sachin ever retire, will Navjot Singh Siddhu ever stop fake laughing, will this list ever end, etc., shall be discussed. But these discussions will take a long time to be published due to the lengthy and painstaking research required and because the obsessions mentioned above (pay attention, you fool! :@, sorry) are of greater importance.

There will be a lot of swearing on this blog. No, don’t tell my mom about it, you snitch! It’s only fair that the troubled author(s) get full freedom to let their inner rage out, after all it is a harsh, unforgiving world as mentioned above. (You didn’t know that, did you? B******d, stars for now. First post). But worry not, swearing will be limited, Delhi Belly will still have more swear words than this blog, we don’t want the blog to be blocked in the UAE, do we? Oh, btw, I stay in Dubai. Yes, the one with the boat shaped hotel and the tallest empty tower and the palm shaped island that looks good only when you’re flying over it.

Alternating Reality will have guest authors on it. These authors have no work in life. That is why they’ll spend their time to entertain your face muscles. Wait, WHAT?!

I’m spoiling my eyes by sitting in front of a screen with letters. I need to eat a carrot. LOL. Jk.

I do hope I see you on the next post.

Au revoir. French, bitch.

Btw, follow me on twitter @IAmAkshith.

The Facebook page will be up soon.