Hurricane Irene.

Hurricane Ir-F**king-ene.
What a bitch she turned out to be. I slept right through out the actual hurricane. But the aftermath sucked balls. The bloody basement of the house where I was staying flooded, up to 18 inches water. I wore swimming trunks the whole day. LOL, JK.

Irene, the bitch, knocked out electric power in the area where I was staying. Stupid stupid thing to do. Because of that I didn't have wifi. Which is why I believe I am a true survivor. I survived the hurricane, easy shit. I stayed for almost 2 whole days without connection to the internet. I felt like a caveman. It is hard, but I was strong.
I also might have reduced 20-30 kgs (read: 0 kg). I worked for more time than what an indolent person should should work for. I should be awarded the Bharat Ratna. No kidding.

Irene can be blamed for everything wrong that I do. I can;t think of anything more to add. (Blame Irene)

I once told a girl, "Don't worry, I won't rape you". Her parents hate me after that. Irene hadn't struck yet, but I blame it on Irene.
I've said many things, have you? If you have, I don't think it matters to me.

"Tera kya hoga, Kaliya?"

Lights. Camera. Hurricane.

Ever looked death in the face and smiled? Ever looked up to the heavans waiting for death and smiled? Ever looked at the TV set watching a news reporter talking about Hurricane Irene and smiled? I did only the last thing. The other two might happen during the course of Hurricane Irene.

I'm psyched about the hurricane. It feels like I'm waiting in line for Jumeirah Scaireh. So PSYCHED! Its my first hurricane. I can't wait for it to bang USA.

Food during natural calamities shouldn't be a problem for me. Fridges here store more food than refugee camps in Africa. Pantries here are like mini grocery stores. If cereal runs out, there are 5 more boxes of the same in the basement.

Lights, Camera, Action.
Its a dark, rainy, gloomy, windy outside Akshith's home. Akshith, standing next to one of the window,  looks outside, sees branches strewn on the front yard, babies fluting, diapers hitting faces, and says, in a low, mysterious, emo voice, "There is a hurricane coming, I can feel it" *Thunder* *Lightning*.
Black out.

^ That is what I expect to do.

Think about this - 

"Sometimes, nonsense makes more sense than common sense", Akshith Dass.

 It has started to rain outside...

Natural Calamity Thoughts.

Recently (yesterday) I started thinking. You're screwed, I know. The post Food.Rain.Girl has the maximum hits. I think I know why. Because of that girl mentioned in the title. Ha! Gotcha. You are such a dawg. I have a good social life. A girl I see and like shouldn't be a surprise.

FTK is stuck in some remote part of India with no Internet. That isn't a surprise, is it?

Yesterday, after I was done thinking, I did unconventional things. Unconventional for a person in America. Not neccessarily unconventional for an Indian in Amercia. I had Pani Puri at home and I watched a hindi movie at home. I watched Tere Bin Laden. I know the movie is old, but so is your mom. Its a beautiful movie. And its even funnier when you're watching a guy trying to get into US while you're sitting in US and watching him. Its an epically funny movie. You should watch it.

The post doesn't agree with the title.

I'm missing lots of shizz happening in Dubai, while my butt is 11037 kilometers or 6859 miles or 5960 nautical miles away. Bleh, who cares?

Remember the earthquake I mentioned earlier? Now, there is a hurricane coming up on Sunday. Its called Irene. It'll probably going to bang the crap out of NY. My flight is from JFK (in NY, foo). I'm probably going to die. I'm excited though. My first hurricane. It might probably be like my first kiss. I will be blown away, not by the orgasmic experience, but by the wind force, duhh.

Some of my bros have been sorted on Pottermore. I'm still waiting for the email. I hope they get killed by a troll.

Lashker - E- America - Invading America since 2002.